 Attacked! |
Mon, 05 May 2003 09:12  |
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(duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn-dah-dah-dah-duhn-da-duhhhhn!)
Latest on SNN News: Further developments after Rumours of Planet Attack. Ministry of Peace disbanded, replaced by Ministry of is-it-war?-I-don't-know-you-tell-me! Ministry Spokesman Porfiry answers the press:
"Is it true that a planet has been massacred by the enemy?"
"This is unbased. There was no planet attack. We have lost communication with planet codenamed #XU3C8R2, a newly established border colony. There is no loss. We know some hardy souls are clinging to life in the deserts somewhere, organising a coordinated uprising against this regrettable mistake.
"We also object to the use of the word 'enemy'. The Mamba are not our enemy, they are only misunderstood. Our failures to talk must be because of errors in communication. We are working on this."
"How soon will war start?"
"There is no plan for war. Do not be alarmed. We have not lost a planet. Be assured. We are safe and protected."
"How do you respond to Freighter Pilot Lisaveta Ivanovna's statement? How was the fish invo-"
"This press conference is over! Remove that man!"
they made me do itReport message to a moderator
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