 First Contact! |
Mon, 07 April 2003 10:24  |
|
|
|
*****************
STOP PRESS: SNN Live Broadcast!
*****************
Extraterrestials Sighted?!
"Henri Beyle reporting from beneath the Grand Balcony of the orbiting palazzo of our Gracious Leader, Lord Ludvico Settembrini, after rumours flew that indeed, there is Someone Else in this distant universe. Lord Settembrini is to make his announcement promptly - wait, he's stepped onto the balcony, and you're watching this live on SNN!
"'Citizens, *cough* *cough* may we have quiet please? I may be an old man, but please!'
"In hushed awe of our Leader's presence, the buzzing of the crowd does indeed desist.
"'As spoken only of in the deepest of history, once, there was more than us. Yes, since our Exile from Universe Prime 2407 years ago, we have not encountered another race, no one. Not a single micro-organism, not even the slightest whisper of life. But today, I can claim that sometime last year, our distant probe has indeed encountered Someone.
"'Or I should say Some Thing. We are not sure what this race's intentions are, let alone what they are, as they do not seem to follow the same principles of existence as we do.
"'Yet this speaks well of the future, dear citizens! We have been scrabbling in the dirt since our Great Fall, so unjustly placed on us so long ago. We have worked with only memories of what we once had, and it has been long, dear citizens, and hard, when no trace of our former existence was left to us, not the singlest fibre! Many have died, and we have lost our way more than once, but our demand for justice drives us forward!
"'We seek only to return, and we will do whatever it takes to reach there. We have no concept of the method, but we will succeed, in time. Whether other races will help or hinder our needs will be seen, in time. I have authorised this Faster Than Time interstellar broadcast in the hope they will establish contact shortly. But in the mean time, pray, dear citizens, pray like you have every day of your lives for our Salvation.'
"In confirmation of all we have suspected, Lord-Leader Settembrini has announced that we are not alone!
"Next on SNN: With this development, has the chickenist school of thought really succeeded over the eggists? Tune in for mo-"
they made me do itReport message to a moderator
|
|
|
|
Members
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
