WHAT?!?!
MORE DIPLOMACY?!?!
ARGH!!!

Witness the following "diplomatic" exchange...













Now we see where that goes, let's save ourselves a lot of typing and just cut to the chase.

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And my answer to that is:


Ptolemy

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zoid wrote on Wed, 31 March 2004 03:57

WHAT?!?! MORE DIPLOMACY?!?! ARGH!!! Witness the following "diplomatic" exchange... Now we see where that goes, let's save ourselves a lot of typing and just cut to the chase.

The Asimov School of Diplomacy is much simpler!



(Asimov played blitz HE a lot...)

- Kurt

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Too bad we can't do that whith the in-game messages. It would make for some VERY interesting exchanges.

For example:

Quote:

means: Would you like to trade?
Ptolemy

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Stop laying speedtrap mines or I will get angry, gate a fleet in, and bomb your HW until the rubble bounces.



- Kurt

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To All:
Greetings.
We report a sneaky SS race stealing our innocent colonists.
Our widows and poor children request an agreement to punish these wrongdoers severely. Thus leading to a cheerful galaxy where all can celebrate merrily.

- From the Icky Things
(a race known for rapid growth and the consumption of opponents as a food source, preferably with fava beans and a nice chianti)

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Heh heh. Okay, let me give this a shot.








Translation: Hello. I would like to ask that you remove your warships from my space. I propose a border between Flaming Poodle and Armstrong. I don't care for war, and would like a peaceful co-existance with your people. I should warn you to watch out for the Sherlocks, though. They're rather suspicious.

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Translation:
We the Flames live on high temerature, high radiation planets. We hate everybody except ourselves. Often we find ourselves in difficulty since other beings wish diplomacy that we abhor.

BEWARE!

Ptolemy

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Negotiations with the Wallbangers have broken down.
We propose a combined packet attack on Pirate while their defenses are down.
Reply whether you agree or think this is crazy ASAP.

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399,000 of your colonists died in the bombing...

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Translation:
Hi
I've seen a MT in my territory
Merge with MT not allowed. I will shoot your freighters and then cripple your race with my new toys.
Wait, give me minerals then merge with the MT and we can share the toys
Keep in touch
PS: I'm crazy enough to do it

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Translation:
Oh my God, how did this happen? A Canadian AR player in Moosejaw
just trashed my scouts, poked a hole in my border, and crippled my fleet. Things look bad. ACK! I forget to queue defenses and there's a big packet inbound.

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Heh. I'm a Canadian AR player. I don't live in moosejaw, but I know someone who's in college not far from there.

Okay, let's see if I can top Edog.





Translation: A battle took place at Stinky Socks against the Potheads.
Neither your 2 forces nor the Pothead Toothless Tiger were completely wiped out.
You lost 0.

[Updated on: Thu, 01 April 2004 01:59]

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I'm sorry Dave. I can't do that...

Oh my God! It's full of Housecats!

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I'll give it a try






Ptolemy

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The Mystery Trader eyes your fleet commander suspiciously and sends him on his way.

EDog

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Tip: You can hide unimportant messages by clicking the checkmark in the messages titlebar. You can reshow these messages at any time by clicking on the magnifying glass in the titlebar.


Tip: To add waypoints select a ship, then click on the desired destination while holding down the Shift key. You can also drag existing waypoints to move them to a new location.


Tip: To design your own ships, press 'F4', select 'Available Hull Types'. pick one from the dropdown, and hit the 'Copy' button.


Tip: Popup help is available over many of the displayed statistics. For example you can click on planet statistics in the summary window to get additional details.


Your home planet is Senility. Your people are ready to leave the nest and explore the universe. Good luck.

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"Do not view this topic on a dial-up connection as there are too many images"

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I see that Edog has forgotten how to play Stars! and has reverted to the turorial to learn how again ....
Ptolemy

[Updated on: Thu, 01 April 2004 16:03]

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Ptolemy wrote on Thu, 01 April 2004 14:02

I see that Edog has forgotten how to play Stars! and has reverted to the turorial to learn how again .... Ptolemy

You're assuming, of course, that I once knew enough to forget in the first place...


EDog

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This wonderful topic of laughs died down - so








-->



Translation:

Hey stupid - you provoked me so;
I have teleported a strike team of my Angels to your planet and abducted your idiotic leader. Ha HA!
Piss me off any more and what you'll have left of him will be fit for the trash only!

Ptolemy
Emperor of a Thousand Suns

[Updated on: Tue, 22 February 2005 05:52]

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Nothing posted here in 5 months? But this stuff is great!




Translation:

You've found a new planet, but you don't know if it is habitable or not. 555-1212 will remain a mystery to you until you visit it with a fleet with better scanners.

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Great masters, we are in awe of your power. We beg you to stop bombing our planets and promise to pay you with lots of germanium. We'll even bye the first round of beers.

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