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| Re: "Real World" Explanations |
Fri, 02 January 2004 01:36  |
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 EDog |
 | Lt. Junior Grade |
Messages: 417
Registered: November 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado, USA | |
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| alexdstewart wrote on Tue, 30 December 2003 23:51 |
I would very much like to see the "Real World" explanations for such things as why it takes whole 1yr to get from stargate A to stargate B when stargate travel is "instantaneous". Why is it you can't packet pop at your enemy  . How come "competent" starship commanders shoot at chaff rather than at capital ships. Why is overpopulation is not a problem with the red planets etc. at nauseum... 
So let your imagination fly and post some good "Real World" explanations for the strange and perplexing things in Stars!
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Ah, where to begin? This is normally Blue Turbit's area of expertise, but I'll endeavor to entertain...
1. Why it takes a whole year to get from stargate A to stargate B when travel is instantaneous.
Answer: Long lines at the security checkpoints and the baggage claims, not to mention lost luggage and snarls in the concourses. 
2. Why you can't packet pop at your enemy.
Answer: Go on, try convincing the colonists it'll be "fun" to fly through space at W16 and smash into a planetary mass.  
3. Why do "competent" commanders shoot at chaff instead of at other capital ships?
Answer: They've all seen Star Wars, and know that "snub" fighters do in fact present a large danger. Besides, it's a well-known fact that chaff ships carry powerful transmitters that send intimately personal insults to those "competent" commanders implying certain character flaws in their mothers and questionable breeding involving lower life forms.  Chaff pilots are also well-known for using decorative images on their ships to further enrage the enemy. What commander wouldn't jump at the chance to send a missile up the exhaust tube of a ship painted with a picture of either Pauly Shore or Gilbert Gottfried? 
4. Why is overpopulation not a problem on Red planets?
Answer: After slathering yourself up with burn cream, taking your antirad iodine pills, and wrapping up the whole works in antigravity belts, you're just too plain tired (and slimy, and stinky) to want to do the ol' horizontal tango. 
Of course, my red planet colonies consist exclusively of nubile young virgins between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three, just starting to blossom with desire and embarking upon journeys of self (and other) discovery with nothing to do but design new types of lingerie and... 
Anyway, I find it keeps the population in check... 
EDog
http://ianthealy.com
Born, grew up, became an adventurer
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