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icon10.gif  Re: Breaking News! Fri, 24 December 2004 12:44 Go to previous messageGo to previous message
Grimferth

 
Crewman 2nd Class

Messages: 17
Registered: November 2002
Location: Virginia
The Intergalactic Times


Investigative journalist Zathras, reporting:

This morning, the Intergalactic Commodities Exchange at Z’ha’dum opened a new market forum for buying and selling of a new ranch commodity – prime human meat products from a remote world, Earth.

The human trade is still highly speculative at this time. Due to continued unrest of the native population, expedition forces have been dispatched with orders to occupy and subdue Earth. Land surveyors have begun to partition the continental masses on Earth into select parcels for later auction as ranch land. Brokers are encouraged to contact representatives of the Royal Foreign Auctioneers to schedule remote viewing of potential prime Earth ranches. Delivery of human meat orders should commence in the next few years.

The Z’ha’dum exchange made samples of the new commodity available to journalists covering the opening of the forum. Your reporter had the privilege of tasting L’homme a la biere, a meat-vegetable stew with beer. Sadly, the stock supplied for this dish, from the Parisian region of Earth, brought a gamey aftertaste to the meal. The attendees were assured that higher fat content of NewYork stock would make for excellent marbling for steaks and roasts.


In other news, currency exchanges continued to fluctuate under pressure from .............


Disclaimer: Some words may not be suitable for individuals of all levels of maturity. All publications are copyrighted to Intergalactic News Corporation. No publications may be reprinted without the written consent of the Intergalactic News Corporation. The source of our findings are known to be very accurate and true. We do not hold any responsibility for consequences occurring as a result of any of our publications.


[Updated on: Fri, 24 December 2004 12:44]

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