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Forum: Friends in Low Places
 Topic: Treacherous attack of the Imperiums and the Monarchs - agricultural efforts are not duly protected
icon8.gif  Treacherous attack of the Imperiums and the Monarchs - agricultural efforts are not duly protected Tue, 05 August 2003 06:40
dimych is currently offline dimych

 
Crewman 1st Class

Messages: 26
Registered: March 2003
Location: Russia
Shtirlyugi and Makers (S&M) fleets has sustained a major blow from joined forces of Monarches and Imperiums(M&I).
Military officials of S&M were not available for the comments today, but depressed faces sited at the Allied Navy HQ spoke for themselves.
The information that leaked from the battlefields indicates, that Allied Navy seemed to underestimate joined power of M&I Axis of Evil.
A peaceful biologist at Navy Hospital agreed to speak to our reporter under terms of complete secrecy.
- It was a routine peaceful biological expedition, set to adjust some major agricultural and biological wrongdoing at one of the Imperiums worlds. The rumors were that local extremists used killer bees to guard corn plantations and corn itself did not meet rather loose Shtirlyugi nutrition standards. More to that, we had reports saying, that killer bees frightened kids in a nearby kindergarten and a high school. Although we had no proven facts, but based on our experience we strongly believed, that there we cases of painful bites to the kids. We may have sacrifices our insatiable drive to preserve high biological standards and humanitarian ways of treating agricultural vegetables, but tears of bitten kid is something we may not forgive to anyone.
- The peaceful fleet consisted of a few second-line warships (serving only as fuel carriers), bombers equipped with low-impact high-precision munitions to take out extremists sites and some freighters with Shtirlyugi Ol’ Good soy been seeds (TM), duly certified by Allied Surgeon General. We were planning to sell them at ground cheep prices for local dwellers just for the sake of better nutrition.
- We have duly informed civilians of the planets of the location of our low impact strikes and warned them to stay at least 100 kilometer away from them and wear radiation-proof suits or at least sunglassesfor a short time of 30 years after the bombing. We took into consideration, that low income of people, who live under Imperium dictatorship, may prevent common people from buying such suits. So we dispersed sufficient quantity of such suites from a stealth stratosphere bomber. Imperium propaganda argued, that none of them reached the surface, but read my lips – “IT’S A LIE!”.
- Our lab tests showed that 95.5% of suites survived a drop 3 meters down and needed only minor repair afterwards to retain functionality. We see no reason why the same drop from 100 kilometers would damage them.
- After a wave of precise bombing our marines… hahhmm… biologists visited the planet. Unfortunately, the sadist ruler of the Imperiums did not let people to use our suits for protection – we saw multiple suits crushed obviously by Imperium extremists and secret police -, and sun glasses of local manufacturers failed to protect people accordingly. So we claim, that all civilian casualties are caused by deeds of Imperium authorities!
- We were just going to start growing new plants and searched for survivors, but all of a sudden our expedition found itself by massive attack of brand new missile battleships of M&I. We believe, that Monarches offered their stealth technology to Imperiums and that was the reason why our fleet was caught off guard.
- Only few ships survived. I mourn for the innocent souls, people of duty, who were slaughtered there…
The biologist has said grimly but still proudly, that most of the kids from the kindergarten and the high school, terrorized by killer bees were saved and brought to S&M territory. They were, just as S&M supposed, badly bitten by bees. Unfortunately, two of them were slightly burned in process of precise bombing. Surgeons assured us, that it’s just a matter of days to heal the kids. Shocking pictures of bees bitten kids will be made available to public later this day.
More bad news to that – we have lost contact with some major S&I planets. The last information our reporters trasgluked to us were pictures taken from orbital forts – tens of M&I battleships and cruisers ready for attack.
Pray for S&M, all people of freedom and good will!
GNN

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 Topic: interstellar cooperation for better nutrition
icon7.gif  interstellar cooperation for better nutrition Mon, 21 July 2003 22:15
dimych is currently offline dimych

 
Crewman 1st Class

Messages: 26
Registered: March 2003
Location: Russia
Who me? I'm a saint Shtirlyugi and Spectres opened a new era in interstellar relationships. People of Spectres, located at a planet in the proximity of friendly Shtirluygi territory(exact name and location undiscovered), voted for voluntary transfer of the planet under Shtirlyugi rule.
Such action was dictated by inability of Spectres to supply the colonists with sufficient quantity of fresh vegetables, which encouraged some radicals, supported by the minority of population, to grow genetically modified flora Shame . Vigorous attempts of Spectres Navy to break through the blockade of Gremlins failed.
Thank god, population of the planet repelled deeds of agricultural heresy. Since Spectres government could not sacrifice health of its people to political goals, it passed the resolution of transferring the planet under peaceloving and generous rule of Shtirlyugi.
Shtirlyugi People gladly welcome Spectres in their family and embrace newcomers. Cheers

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 Topic: GNN special Report
GNN special Report Fri, 04 July 2003 06:53
Zapan is currently offline Zapan

 
Crewman 2nd Class

Messages: 16
Registered: June 2003
Location: Burlington, Ont.

BETRAYAL IN THE DEEP SOUTH?

This is GNN Reporter Cliver Andeson bringing you news of an unprovoked and shockingly successful Surprise Attack!! Early numbers place casualties in the Hundreds of Thousands! Madness reigns as Imperium colonists and ships perish in the fiery death being unleashed over Mobius and Cherry.

Rumors indicate several Maker fleets are responsible for the carnage. The disgraced general Ribolo's name has been whispered, shouted and cursed in the short time since word arrived. No Imperium official has made a statement but there were strong denials of involvement from the Makers' Communications Department.

Maker Councilwoman Icina Frogeater had this to say:
"We are a peaceful and tactful people. Read our manifesto! We do NOT make unprovoked attacks. Such are the ways of madmen. You can be sure of one thing. Justice will be served. Even now we are building a fleet of cruisers solely for the neutralization of this threat to peaceful relations. Ribolo, the N.M.W. or whomever is responsible will be captured and socially adjusted. Thankyou."


On behalf on GNN this is Cliver Andeson saying Good night: "Good night."



If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

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 Topic: Alliances formed
Alliances formed Thu, 26 June 2003 09:49
BlueTurbit

 
Lt. Commander

RIP
BlueTurbit died Oct. 20, 2011

Messages: 835
Registered: October 2002
Location: Heart of Texas
All races should have suddenly discovered their partners by email. Now would be a good time to communicate and make plans for action.

Alliances are private information and will remain so, unless enough leaders vote to make the knowledge public.
Post your opinions here or use email.

Turns are now set to generate 1 year every 48 hours.





[Updated on: Thu, 26 June 2003 10:03]




BlueTurbit Country/Rock

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 Topic: Gas shortage
Gas shortage Thu, 19 June 2003 11:23
BlueTurbit

 
Lt. Commander

RIP
BlueTurbit died Oct. 20, 2011

Messages: 835
Registered: October 2002
Location: Heart of Texas
Attention all members of the friendly galaxy. We are on hold due to a fuel shortage at the Admiral's post. Please hang in space there until we can resolve this mystery.

cordially,
Cpt. Blue

ooops! fuel just arrived. All ship movements can now restart. Five year ship movement this time. Cool


[Updated on: Thu, 19 June 2003 11:52]




BlueTurbit Country/Rock

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