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 Magellan Cloud News |
Fri, 06 December 2002 10:36  |
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 FurFuznel |
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Messages: 437
Registered: November 2002
Location: New Brunswick, Canada | |
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Good day everyone, this is Hank E. Panky with the Magellan Cloud News Service (MGNS) interrupting your busy lives with a late breaking story from the Magellan Cloud.
The Top Stories today as reported by one of our reporters in the field, R. U. Craazie, are as follows:
Divinae forces have eliminated the Fakawi colony at Kwaidan. Negotiations between the DeMizer fleet that arrived at Kwaidan the same year that the Divinae took over the planet and the Divinae are going on currently to prevent a war between these two races.
In other news the Pack has brutally (no bias here  ) attacked the DeMizer colony at Neptune detroying the Starbase and ships in orbit in a somewhat unprovoked attack. 
The Pack and the DeMizer fleets continue to exchange shots at each other across their minefields in what is heating up to be a full scale war between two space demolitionist races in this small corner of the universe. Although the Pack has battleships the captains of the DeMizer fleets are in good spirits as indicated by this recent interview with Captain Shicken of the DeMizer border guard:
| Quote: |
Interviewer: How likely is it that the DeMizer fleets will survive the coming hostilities?
Captain Shicken: What hoshtillities {urp}, oh syou mean thoshe tiny little shee-ips of the Pack, well, I'm not shcared or thoshe guysh. Do yoush have any more to drink?
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The rest of the interview consisted of Captain Shicken passing out in his command chair.
Our final story today is that there is a puppy missing on Iceball. If anyone has seen this small, black, brown, and green dog who answers to the name of Slushie, please report it to Tina at the customs office on Iceball, she is quite worried about it.
Signing off for now, this is Hank E. Pankee saying may your ship still be in one piece tomorrow when you wake up!
Shadallark <==> FurFuznel
Mental anguish is for those who choose to think - FurFuznel
running Mac OS X 10.6.7
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| Re: Magellan Cloud News |
Fri, 06 December 2002 17:45  |
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| WarDad |
 | Crewman 3rd Class |
Messages: 7
Registered: November 2002 | |
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Hah! 
A well done report Furfuznel.
The border skirmish between two SDs is heating up.
This could be a good show for you war fans out there.
I hope you get a ring side seat.
In the meantime I bring you WarFeed4 (author unknown):
----------------------------------------------------
War Feed Four
Huck: Hi, I'm Huxley Atope.
Brad: And I'm Bradbury Rogers, and you're watching War Feed Four
Huck: That's right, and have we got a battle for you today. We're broadcasting live from
orbit of planet New Capetown in the Nexus system, where the Third Imperial Fleet
has arrived to crush a minor rebellion. Tell us something about the rebellion, Brad.
Brad: Sure thing, Huck. Two months ago, after an extended period of demonstrations and
rioting, the local government on New Capetown declared independence from the empire.
They claim that the Empire is a "Brutal and oppressive tyranny, which systematically
stifles all freedom of thought, speech and action." Sounds pretty whack to me Huck.
Huck: Me too, Brad, you wouldn't catch me making crazy speeches like that.
Brad: Nor me. That just wouldn't be a good idea. Anyway, it's time for the Empire to
re-assert its authority here, and the third fleet has been sent in to remind
these rebels just how free and democratic our glorious empire is.
Huck: And what a fleet it is, Brad. Recently refitted and raring for action, this really
is a side to root for. We can see the Fleet's flagship there, the ISS Unchallenged
Superiority at the front of that classic wedge formation. She's fresh out of the
shipyards on Antares II where she's had her shields and armour upgraded. That's
going to be one tough nut for the rebels to crack.
Brad: I'll say. What do we know about these rebels, Huck?
Huck: Well, although they're a new side, we do know that they seized control of at least 3
squadrons of when they took control of the planet, Brad. They've had two months since
then to build more defences, and my guess is that they've been busy fitting out more
fighters.
Brad: That seems like a fairly solid strategy there, Huck. Two months isn't long enough to
build the kind of large ships that could be a threat to this fleet, so they'll be
hoping that fighters will be just too small for the fleet to target effectively. It's
normally...
Huck: I'm sorry to interrupt you there Brad, but we have Admiral McGuire of the Liberated
People's Republic of New Capetown Planetary Defence Force on the line for a live
interview. Hello Admiral?
Admiral: Hello Huck.
Huck: Looking forward to the battle?
Admiral: Well, we've known for a long time that it was coming, so we're all eager to get it
over with.
Huck: I'm sure you are. Tell me Admiral, the Third Imperial Fleet is a formidable side to
be up against. Do you really think you have a chance?
Admiral: Well, we certainly are outgunned, but I'm confident that the principles of Liberty
and Truth will always prevail against the evil and terror that the Third Fleet
represents. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for the battle.
Huck: Certainly Admiral. Well Brad, what do you make of that?
Brad: Well, you can't deny that they're a plucky side Huck, and well motivated too. They
might be outgunned, out numbered and using hopelessly out of date weapons technology,
but there's always an element of luck in confrontations like these and you just don't
know which way the dice will fall. I don't think the L.F.P.R.N.C.P.D.F. really have a
chance of winning, but they might just have what it takes to make this battle
interesting.
Huck: Well, I can see the spectator ships are moving away now and the Fleet is closing on
the planet, so I guess hostilities are about to commence.
Brad: Yes, I can see fighters leaving the planet's atmosphere now Huck. It looks like 6
squadrons, so your guess was right.
Huck: So it was, Brad. That's an interesting choice of formation they're using there. Do
you have any comments?
Brad: Well, the formation they're chosen there is a classic strategy for evasive maneuvres.
They're trying to maximise the natural advantage their fighters gain from their small
size. If they can avoid getting hit, they might just get in close enough to score a
few hits on one of those fleet ships.
Huck: And I can see they're concentrating their efforts on the Unchallenged Superiority. A
risky strategy Brad?
Brad: I'd say so Huck, although the payoffs if they could cripple or destroy the Third
Fleet's flagship would be enormous. Unfortunately for the L.F.P.R.N.C.P.D.F., the
Superiority is well equipped for anti-fighter combat.
Huck: It certainly is, as it's proving now. I only count 3 squadrons of L.F.P.R.N.C.P.D.F.
fighters still in the sky there, and the rest of the Third Fleet hasn't even moved
into range yet. Do you think those fighters will make it into firing range before
the Superiority can reload?
Brad: No, I don't think so, although it looks like they're going to try anyway.
Huck: And there goes the Superiority again, cutting down the rest of those fighters. Those
Imperial Fleet boys really make it look too easy, don't they?
Brad: They do, Huck. I guess the principles of Liberty and Truth really aren't much good up
against a 4000 BlatterWatt Phased Polaron Array.
Huck: Well, with the excitement out here finished for the day, it's over to "Jolly" Verne
Jackson aboard the ISS Unnecessarily Hostile for this week's Big Red Button lottery
Draw. Over to you Verne.
Verne: Thanks Huck, and I'm here with the twenty five thousand lucky second-round ticket
holders, one of whom will get to live out their dream of serving the Empire tonight.
Our computer is now selecting a random number, and the number is... Eleven thousand,
five hundred and nine. Come on down here, contestant one one five zero nine, you are
tonight's Big Red Button Lottery Winner. What's your name, contestant?
Jim: It's Jim, Verne.
Verne: And tell me Jim, did you enjoy the battle?
Jim: Yeah.
Verne: Have you ever been to New Capetown before?
Jim: Yeah, once. I came here on holiday a few years ago, and the hotel receptionist was
really rude.
Verne: Well tonight Jim, you're our lottery winner and you're going to get your own back on
that rude hotel receptionist by destroying her entire planet! Press that Big Red
Button, Jim!
Jim: Oh, boy
[Updated on: Fri, 06 December 2002 17:53]
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| Magellan Cloud News |
Tue, 17 December 2002 12:08 |
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| FurFuznel |
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Messages: 437
Registered: November 2002
Location: New Brunswick, Canada | |
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The Rabid Pack continues its attack on the peacful DeMized planets!!
In this late breaking story, our reporter Jonket brings us the latest on the happenings in his/her part of the Magellan Cloud.
Jonket can you hear me?
Jonket: I'm sorry Barekel, can you speak up please, the bombs have been falling all year here and my ears are still ringing.
Barekel: Can you give us an idea of what is going on around you Jonket, and where you are?
Jonket: Well I am at the planet Grep, which up until recently was held by the Peaceful DeMizer race, as a publicly funded holiday world for the poorer people of their race. In a bold move this last year the Rabid Canines spent most of the year bombing all of the fruity drink stands, and beach equipment stores into oblivion. As if that was not bad enough, these vile beings then dropped thousands of heavily armed troops to wipe out the tourists who were sipping margaritas on the remains of the beaches after the bombs stopped falling. It was a gruesome sight Barekel.
Barekel: Why would the Pack do such a thing? Have you had a chance to talk to any of them?
Jonket: Yes, actually I managed to get an interview with one of the ground troop captains soon after they had obliterated the last DeMizer tourist and their pets at the edge of the ocean. Here is what he said when I asked why the hatred of the DeMizer race?
Captain: Humph! Those DeMizer were just too peacful for our liking, always coming here on holidays, drinking, laughing, dancing. I mean, fasfkajlr, they did not even have any weapons here with them. What kind of useless race is that?
Jonket: So as you can see Barekel, it appears that it was the DeMized's peaceful nature that ended up costing all these innocent, poor, tourists their lives. I will be leaving this planet later this year, as I cannot get anyone to serve me drinks anymore. I am not sure where my next report will come to you from, but I would like to add:
WATCH OUT Universe the Rabid Dogs seem bent on eliminating the DeMized, and YOU could be next.
Barekel: Uhm, well thank you Jonket, for that somewhat biased report of what happened at Grep this last year. Hopefully you will appreciate your new assignment to the most recently discovered black hole just outside the Magellan Cloud.
This is Barekel of IMP signing off. {sigh}
Shadallark <==> FurFuznel
Mental anguish is for those who choose to think - FurFuznel
running Mac OS X 10.6.7
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