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icon1.gif  Attacked! Mon, 05 May 2003 09:12 Go to next message
djhakase is currently offline djhakase

 
Warrant Officer

Messages: 119
Registered: March 2003
Location: Australia

(duhn-duhn-duhn-duhn-dah-dah-dah-duhn-da-duhhhhn!)

Latest on SNN News: Further developments after Rumours of Planet Attack. Ministry of Peace disbanded, replaced by Ministry of is-it-war?-I-don't-know-you-tell-me! Ministry Spokesman Porfiry answers the press:

"Is it true that a planet has been massacred by the enemy?"

"This is unbased. There was no planet attack. We have lost communication with planet codenamed #XU3C8R2, a newly established border colony. There is no loss. We know some hardy souls are clinging to life in the deserts somewhere, organising a coordinated uprising against this regrettable mistake.

"We also object to the use of the word 'enemy'. The Mamba are not our enemy, they are only misunderstood. Our failures to talk must be because of errors in communication. We are working on this."

"How soon will war start?"

"There is no plan for war. Do not be alarmed. We have not lost a planet. Be assured. We are safe and protected."

"How do you respond to Freighter Pilot Lisaveta Ivanovna's statement? How was the fish invo-"

"This press conference is over! Remove that man!"



they made me do it

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Re: Attacked! Wed, 14 May 2003 00:49 Go to previous messageGo to next message
djhakase is currently offline djhakase

 
Warrant Officer

Messages: 119
Registered: March 2003
Location: Australia

Interstellar Unencoded Broadcast

Due to the gracious nature of the Mamba, I have dropped all thoughts of war. Yey However, I am disturbed to note the presence of a Borg mine-laying scout in an unexpected corner of my Empire. Shame

I am concerned about the Borg. Other races have been reasonably polite in their actions. I am not immediately reticent about the presence of scouts in my space, however, ones that can also lay mines are, to say the least, rather disturbing. Especially when they are over 1000ly from their home area.

I suspect wormholes! Teleport

How are other people in this universe going? It seems the Cancer are performing extremely well. Shocked Rather alarming. They seem to be building a small army, as are the Borg and the Taak - early skirmishes perhaps? Alas, technological development is so slow! I suspect it will be a while before any truly formidable forces appear in this universe.

Ludvico Settembrini,
Lord-Leader of House Settembrini.



they made me do it

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Re: Attacked! Wed, 14 May 2003 01:40 Go to previous messageGo to next message
BackBlast is currently offline BackBlast

 
Officer Cadet 1st Year
Duel club Champion 2004
Duel Club Champion 2006

Messages: 215
Registered: February 2003
Location: A Rock
Settembrini wrote on Wed, 14 May 2003 00:49

It seems the Cancer are performing extremely well. Shocked Rather alarming. They seem to be building a small army, as are the Borg and the Taak - early skirmishes perhaps?

Ludvico Settembrini,
Lord-Leader of House Settembrini.


We are Cancer. Infection of planetoid life is to glorify it. This is not to be compromised. You are a non. Any obstruction of this glorification will result in your being eliminated as a hostile infection.

We are Cancer.

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Re: Attacked! Wed, 14 May 2003 08:42 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

Quote:

I suspect wormholes!


Or IT perhaps?

No matter. They would be well advised to avoid attacking the Hirota (especially since we tend to be pretty peaceful)



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Cancer start planetary bombardment! Wed, 04 June 2003 05:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

Planet Howe, occupied by several thousand peaceful Hirotans.

Imagine the suprise when the Cancer, without warning invade the world.

For two years now the evil Cancer have bombarded without any effort at diplomacy.

Fortunately, a strike force, led by Admiral Sanatukra is dispatched and will arrive to remove the force.

The cancer are invited to discuss a diplomatic resolution.



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Re: Cancer start planetary bombardment! Wed, 04 June 2003 06:58 Go to previous messageGo to next message
djhakase is currently offline djhakase

 
Warrant Officer

Messages: 119
Registered: March 2003
Location: Australia

JamesWD wrote on Wed, 04 June 2003 05:00

Planet Howe, occupied by several thousand peaceful Hirotans.

Imagine the suprise when the Cancer, without warning invade the world.

For two years now the evil Cancer have bombarded without any effort at diplomacy.

Fortunately, a strike force, led by Admiral Sanatukra is dispatched and will arrive to remove the force.

The cancer are invited to discuss a diplomatic resolution.


I can certify this report - my own innocent Smaugarian Peeping Tom was shot down as well!

Cyst: FM + 2xM70 Minibomber
Celluloid: FM + 2x Cowhide Shield + 3x Phaser Bazooka

10 Cyst and 9 Celluloid were spotted - this was the last information transmitted before my scout burned up in hot laser smoke.

May I wish Admiral Sanatukra the best of luck! I am certain the various races of this universe are behind you!

Ludvico Settembrini.



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Re: Cancer start planetary bombardment! Wed, 04 June 2003 13:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
BackBlast is currently offline BackBlast

 
Officer Cadet 1st Year
Duel club Champion 2004
Duel Club Champion 2006

Messages: 215
Registered: February 2003
Location: A Rock
JamesWD wrote on Wed, 04 June 2003 05:00

Planet Howe, occupied by several thousand peaceful Hirotans.

Imagine the suprise when the Cancer, without warning invade the world.

For two years now the evil Cancer have bombarded without any effort at diplomacy.

Fortunately, a strike force, led by Admiral Sanatukra is dispatched and will arrive to remove the force.

The cancer are invited to discuss a diplomatic resolution.


We are Cancer. You are not to impede our infection of desired planetoid life. Planetoids desire to be aggrandized. To impede this is to enslave and curse them. You are a non. Relinquish your enslavement of the planetoids.

We are Cancer.

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Re: Cancer start planetary bombardment! Thu, 05 June 2003 08:16 Go to previous messageGo to next message
haileris is currently offline haileris

 
Crewman 2nd Class

Messages: 17
Registered: February 2003
Quote:


We are Cancer. You are not to impede our infection of desired planetoid life. Planetoids desire to be aggrandized. To impede this is to enslave and curse them. You are a non. Relinquish your enslavement of the planetoids.

We are Cancer.


I'm convinced that the leader of the Cancer is Homer Simpson... the similarity of the writing style is uncanny. Proof below...

We are Homer Simpsons. You are not to impede our infection of desired donughts. Donughts desire to be aggrandized. To impede this is to enslave and curse them. You are a non donught-eater. Relinquish your enslavement of the donughts.

Nuff said?! Razz

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Re: Cancer start planetary bombardment! Thu, 05 June 2003 08:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

BackBlast wrote on Wed, 04 June 2003 18:03


We are Cancer. You are not to impede our infection of desired planetoid life. Planetoids desire to be aggrandized. To impede this is to enslave and curse them. You are a non. Relinquish your enslavement of the planetoids.

We are Cancer.


Yes, I had noticed your invasion fleet en route...97 odd ships is a fair amount, out of those, 43 are bombers.

Of course, it does make things interesting when I have 100 odd escorts/crusiers ready to go toe to toe with you.

Want to go to war?



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Re: Cancer start planetary bombardment! Mon, 16 June 2003 08:07 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

lets add some BB's as well shall we?

I might not win a war against you cancer, but I can certainly stop you winning. You've got most of your fleet attacking me, stretching your defences thin....



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Re: Cancer start planetary bombardment! Tue, 17 June 2003 08:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

Cancer vessels withdraw from major conflict

The cancers 112 ships fleet responsible for unprovoked agressions in Hirotan space recently turned tail and ran thanks to their recon vessels discovering a 122 ships fleet led by the 9 Capital ships recently constructed. Additional escort craft merely one Stargate jump away also awaited the order to move into conflict.

Unwilling to rest upon their laurels, Admiral Sanatukra promised to liberate the occupied worlds and limit the Cancer threat for years to come.

In a speech to members of the task force he warned the cancer "to look to the skies above their own worlds for conflict in the future"



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Re: Attacked! Thu, 19 June 2003 06:10 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

Metroid and Cancer collusion confirmed

electronic evidence collected by an unarmed patrol vessel in orbit of planet Eno, a world currently owned by the Metroids.

The majority of the Cancer fleet, comprising of:
1 Spore (bog standard coloniser)
13 Infectious one (MF, FM, Mole-skin and fuel tank)
3 Protein (Super-xport, FM and Mole-skin)
45 Cyst (mini-bombers, FM and M-70's)
50 Celluloids (frigates, FM, Cow-hides and Phaser Bazookas)

Was found orbiting the world. The patrol craft managed to obtain significant intelligence of the defences the Cancer fleet has haphazardly erected to defend against Hirotan counter attack.

Recent battleboard simulations conclude this bulk of the fleet has a distinct disadvantage against the bulk of the hirotan fleet, even with the assistance of the Metroid Space Dock in orbit.



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Cancer fleet withdraws further Mon, 23 June 2003 09:00 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

the cancer fleet was spotted withdrawing even further into Cancer/Metroid held territory, leaving worlds occupied by the cancer vulnerable to Hirota Liberation. Already the Hirota fleet is seeking to capitalise the withdrawal, pressing the numerical advantage the Hirota fleet boasts (almost 2 to 1) by securing key disputed worlds.

Admiral Sanatukra himself leads a fleet in transit to take the first worlds. With vessels streaming to the front faster than the Cancer can reply, it is clear their ill fated conflict will cause major problems in the long term for both their economy, their defences, and their reputation as a dangerous species lies in tatters if the Hirota can turn them aside.

In other news, Foreign Minister Jirokasha announced a formalised state of hostility towards the Metroids, one step away from war. Jirokasha announced the Metroids have "one final opportunity to engage in dialogue or suffer the same embarrassing defeat of their allies."

The message declaring this could not be transmitted to the Metroids directly, as any efforts to engage in dialogue with the Metroids have been met with silence.



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Cancer fleet exits wormhole, executes surprise attack Thu, 26 June 2003 03:12 Go to previous messageGo to next message
djhakase is currently offline djhakase

 
Warrant Officer

Messages: 119
Registered: March 2003
Location: Australia

A Cancer fleet has appeared near the stranded Gannok homeworld of Mother! Shocked

Mere light years away from the expansive empires of the 4s, the Ur-Quan Korh-Ah and the Culture, this fleet made up of over 35 battle cruisers encroaches upon the existence of many! Shocked Shocked

Thankfully, our combined forces will be rallied against this incursion! Yey

No doubt the Cancer will be pushed back, and the Invasion of Mother will be just a footnote of our great history! Nod

In other news, the Mamba will be eradicated before 2465. UFO abduction

Long live the Mamba! Angel

Henri Marie Beyle,
The News, A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of House Settembrini



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Re: Cancer fleet exits wormhole, executes surprise attack Thu, 26 June 2003 05:01 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

I have a design of Cancer Battle cruiser for you fighting the cancer cause:

Name "Slumb"

Transgalatic fuel scoops *2
2 Maneuvering Jets
4 Wolverine Shields
9 Phaser Bazookas

Mass 192Kt
init 5
MOves 1 3/4
Armour 1000
Shields 360



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Re: Attacked! Mon, 30 June 2003 04:34 Go to previous message
JamesWD is currently offline JamesWD

 
Master Chief Petty Officer

Messages: 99
Registered: November 2002
Location: Northampton, UK

Cancer fleet spotted near Augira

Reports of a 222 ship fleet heading into hirota space have been confirmed by Hirota miltary officals tonight.

The ships numbered in 34 battle cruisers (new design), 8 Trans Infection (heavy freighters), 3 Colonisers, 9 unknown mini bomber designs, 3 Protein, 45 Cyst, 40 Celluliod and 80 frigates.

A new class of battlecruiser was observed by Hirotan intelligence.

Classification : Blubble

2 Trans-galactic super scoops,
6 Bear Neutrino Barriers
2 Maneuvering Jets
6 Mark IV Blasters
3 Jammer 20's

Mass 187Kt
Moves 2
Init 5

Anticipated as a counter design for the numerous Hirotan missile gunboats. Indeed, the jammers, the reliance on shielding, and the fast design point towards a clear anti-missile strategy.

Military sources already refused to confirm the existence of a counter-design already en route to key points on the battle line.

The main task force remains in service threatening Cancer worlds.

Further Hirotan intelligence received renewed information regarding the location of the Cancer homeworld. Intelligence suggests that Petra may be the source of the cancer species.


[Updated on: Mon, 30 June 2003 04:36]




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