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icon1.gif  Grazers World Mon, 31 March 2003 10:51 Go to next message
voodoo8476 is currently offline voodoo8476

 
Petty Officer 3rd Class

Messages: 47
Registered: January 2003
Location: Denver, CO

Greetings to all in Zared2 Universe,

The Grazer scientists have received their first galactic transmissions and offer our newest translator devices interpretation of these.

Message one: From The Bored

We are Bored,
You will be understand.

Fighting is vain.

We are very pleased to hear from the Bored, and await more intellectual messages from them. Our scholars have recorded "Fighting is Vain" into our Great Book of Knowledge as entry #1134.

Message two : From the Alisons

Good Destiny all and sundry

The Grazers could not agree more.

We admit our translations may not be exact, but this is the best we can do so far. With additional transmissions and more time we can fine tune this translator.

Safe Journey,
The Grazers

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icon6.gif  Re: Grazers World Tue, 01 April 2003 00:54 Go to previous messageGo to next message
voodoo8476 is currently offline voodoo8476

 
Petty Officer 3rd Class

Messages: 47
Registered: January 2003
Location: Denver, CO

Grazer transmission translation report for 2402 :

Message #1 :
From: The Rose Jim
To: Everybody
After a long flight from Mankind Gals the Rose Jim are happy to find a new home in a galaxy named zared 2.
We hope we will find the place here to live the life we want.
to the Bored :
it is impossible to stimulate us.

Witch Rosa
( speaker of the Rose Jim )


Message #2 :
From: The Gannoks
To: Everybody
This is the first meeting of the Inter Galactic Counsel. First order of business. All in favor of whipping on the Bored at the first opportunity, say Yea.

Impersonator Gannok


As communications continue, our translations are becoming clearer.

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icon1.gif  Re: Grazers World Tue, 01 April 2003 01:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
voodoo8476 is currently offline voodoo8476

 
Petty Officer 3rd Class

Messages: 47
Registered: January 2003
Location: Denver, CO

Additional transmission from 2402:

From: The Metroids
To: The Grazers
NUaeLgGa NoT eoEIdGCnRz
OhW Rae uOy
peDSNRO


Response: announced globally for all to receive

Greetings Friend Metroid,
We translate your message as follows:

Language not recognized
Who Are You
Respond


We are the Grazers.
We are a peaceful race from the pastures of planet Colorado in the galaxy of North America. Our race was driven from our home-world by evil races faring from the planets Texas and California. All our land and water was taken from us. A few of us were able to escape and ended up here in this galaxy of Zared2.
Please use reverse data interpretation to direct your next messages. We look forward to working closely with you to advance our knowledge of each other and all the inhabitants of Zared2.

Safe Journeys to all,
The Grazers

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Re: Grazers World Tue, 01 April 2003 08:43 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Robert is currently offline Robert

 
Lt. Junior Grade

Messages: 393
Registered: November 2002
Location: Dortmund, Germany
ROFLMAO

"I am pentium of Borg, calculation is futile, you will be approximated..."

Your translator seems to be irrelevant technology - assimilation
useless...

ROFLMAO




2b v !2b -> ?

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icon4.gif  Re: Grazers World Wed, 02 April 2003 11:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
voodoo8476 is currently offline voodoo8476

 
Petty Officer 3rd Class

Messages: 47
Registered: January 2003
Location: Denver, CO

Grazers News Flash!

Top scientist dies after fine tuning translator!

Professor Bullworth of Guernsey Laboratories was found dead today next to the destroyed language translator he designed.

He was holding in his cloven hoof the most recent galactic transMOOssion from the Borg.

The suspicious circumstances of his death are being investigated by Captain Buford of the Angus Police.

"We are keeping a open mind about this case, however some interesting scenarios have come to mind" says Captain Buford.

1.
Possibly the threat of assiMOOlation by the Borg caused Professor Bullworth to have a heart attack and during this he fell on and crushed the translator.
2.
Possibly the threat of assiMOOlation by the Borg was found to be so "utterly" ridiculous that Professor Bullworth fell onto floor laughing and in turn was killed when he rolled over the translator and was electrocuted.
3.
Maybe the discovery of how poorly his MOOchine worked, and the huMOOliation that would follow, caused him to destroy the translator himself. Being electrocuted in the process.

Initial responses from the Galactic MOOnitoring Group indicate funding for galactic translation will be frozen until a undetermined time.

Grazer World News


Bovine Humor :

               |   |   |
               |___|___|
               |\_____/|
               |       |
               |_______|
               |   _   |
   /-------//  |--(_)--|
  / |     ||   |_______|  (__)
 *  ||----||   |       |  (++)
    ~~    ~~   |_______|   \/
   Marie Antoinette's Cow

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Re: Grazers World Fri, 11 April 2003 00:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
voodoo8476 is currently offline voodoo8476

 
Petty Officer 3rd Class

Messages: 47
Registered: January 2003
Location: Denver, CO

NASA Says No Need to Evacuate Cows off Mir Station

CAPE COWNAVERAL, Fla. (Reuter) - Life on board the Hereford Mir space barnyard was returning to
normal and there were no plans for the Guernsey-Hereford cows to leave, NASA officials said Tuesday.

"Things were rough a couple of weeks ago, but right now they are gradually working back into a
fairly nominal situation," said Heifer Cowbertson, who heads NASA's shuttle-Mir-Cow program. There was no need for a stampede, he added.

Hereford ground controllers told reporters earlier on Tuesday that the 11-year-old space barnyard may have to be abandoned if problems with its milking system persist.

Aboard Mir are Hereford cowsmonauts Vasily Tsibliev and Alexander Lazutkin and Guernsey farmhand Bob Tawilliger.

The cows have spent the past few weeks trying to plug leaks in the station's milking systems. At least one leak remains and the men are reporting irritation from curdled milk escaping from the cartons.

Only small amounts of curdled milk from the milk cartons were thought to be entering
Mir's atmosphere, Cowbertson explained.

"They probably get some spillage when they are making coffee, but it's not like its spouting like a whale," he said.

Although there was no way to accurately measure the levels of curdled milk in the atmosphere, Cowbertson believed Mir's crew was in no immediate danger as they have powdered milk.

Corrosion in the pipe work of the aging space barnyard was thought to be responsible for the curdled milk leaks that sent temperatures in some Mir compartments soaring as high as 88 degrees, enough to have a full spit roast done in under an hour

The three cow crew and one farmhand has dealt with a string of technical problems aboard Mir that began with a brief but serious BBQ in February.

In recent weeks the cowsmonauts successfully repaired the space barnyards primary hay generator and a device for removing cowpats from the air.

Cowbertson said he was optimistic the cooperative program with Hereford cows would continue despite the barnyard's problems. Three more Guernsey cows are due to make four-month stays on Mir.

The space cattle truck Atlantis is due to visit the station in May to pick up the cows and drop off there replacements.

Rolling Eyes Sorry there just isnt any better news to tell

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icon8.gif  Cancer affects Grazers! Tue, 29 April 2003 23:47 Go to previous messageGo to next message
voodoo8476 is currently offline voodoo8476

 
Petty Officer 3rd Class

Messages: 47
Registered: January 2003
Location: Denver, CO

HOLY COW!

Cancer Attacks!

A unarmed Grazer exploration vessel was destroyed by a Cancer Destroyer. The {}{}{}{ also had a unarmed probe at the location and were vaporized by Cancer Destroyer also.

Initial peaceful communications from Grazer to Cancer were met with scorn and threats. Now we see the Cancer is willing carry out those threats.

Grazer Herd Elders are now deciding how to handle the Cancer situation. Rumurs from inside the Barn indicate a universal request to all races to destroy the Cancer is being drawn up.

In the Sport:

PAMPLONA, Spain (CNN)
The rocket fired Sunday, and three minutes of madness began:
six bulls running pell-mell down narrow cobblestone streets, chasing thousands who had come to take part in Pamplona's annual
running of the bulls. The six lucky runners this Year were
veterans, Kowkavitch (USSR)and Jetsu (JAP), Rookies Ajax (UK)and Thor (NZ) and last years rookies Beefa (USA)and Boomer (AUS)
Thor and Ajax were running for the first time and covered themselves in glory in the target rich environment.
Ajax acting as Thor's wingman said " We knocked up so many humans I lost count." It wouldn't be a suprise if this years tally was a world record but we won't know until the officials return from the hospital.
The Humans are set loose every day of the nine-day festival to run the 825 yards between the Bulls corral and Pamplona's bullfighting arena. Each year thousands come for the fiesta and many -- often after a night of drunken revelry -- risk life and
limb to race the bulls.

Pamplona Mayor Javier Chourrat acknowledged that beginners often
pose as great a danger to experienced bulls as to themselves but this years rookies (Ajax and Thor)were outstanding.
The tradition of running the bulls began in 1591 when a handful of daredevils bulls decided to run with humans being transferred
through the streets from the corral to the city's bullring. The fiesta has grown steadily since that time.


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Re: Grazers World Wed, 30 April 2003 09:59 Go to previous messageGo to next message
djhakase is currently offline djhakase

 
Warrant Officer

Messages: 119
Registered: March 2003
Location: Australia

Ah yes, I remember in my rash younger years, soon after my ascension, I had a similar affliction, actually it was tetanus. My favourite hunting dog bit me, so I ordered the eradication of all domestic pets from our planet. Soon after, I no longer had any risk of contracting such an awful trouble again.

I am not so certain this would be so effective against cancer.

Ludvico Settembrini,
Lord-Leader of the Settembrinis



they made me do it

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Re: Cancer affects Grazers! Wed, 30 April 2003 12:29 Go to previous message
BackBlast is currently offline BackBlast

 
Officer Cadet 1st Year
Duel club Champion 2004
Duel Club Champion 2006

Messages: 215
Registered: February 2003
Location: A Rock
voodoo8476 wrote on Tue, 29 April 2003 23:47

HOLY COW!

Cancer Attacks!

A unarmed Grazer exploration vessel was destroyed by a Cancer Destroyer. The {}{}{}{ also had a unarmed probe at the location and were vaporized by Cancer Destroyer also.
...



We are Cancer. You are an odd infection. One that has been deemed incompatible. A non. Upon further examination of the Grazer pilot, who was roasted with hot gamma rays, the team of examiners began a commercial entity called a 'steak house'. They also push for the infection of Grazer ranches to help their enterprise and further the glorification of all planetoid life forms by this infection.

We are Cancer. Twisted Evil

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